Day by Day Hour by Hour

Roman has taught us many valuable lessons such as never taking a day for granted. At first we just focused on the day but Roman really has us living hour by hour. Roman would be great at one moment, and then the next hour he would completely fall apart. Jaime and I would fear when the hospital would call to let us know that Roman had "misbehaved".  Several times we would just get home and we would get the call that we needed to go back to the hospital because Roman wasn't doing well.

January was a time of happiness, sadness, and confusion. It was also a time of clarity and hope. Roman got to participate in the big move into the new hospital. The move went great. Roman was less than thrilled! He loved the bright sunshine in his room!! That day we celebrated as Roman reached full feeds! Everyone was so excited. During rounds the doctors beamed, the nurses cheered, and mommy and daddy celebrated. However, the very next day when I walked unto the ICU floor the doctor stopped me at the front door. I could tell by the look on his face something was wrong! He then told me that Roman had blood in his stool. They doctors were hoping that it was just a milk allergy, but after testing he got the NEC infection again. Feeds stopped, antibiotics started.

Jaime and I were devastated! We were hoping that his infection was caught early. However, a few nights later we were called into the hospital. Roman had to be sedated and put back on the vent. The next day an echo was performed and his heart had taken another hit.

Doctors were stumped as to what to do. Ro had numerous testing. After several care conferences, it was determined that Roman's only hope was a heart transplant. The process to get Roman on the list was very detailed. We were very nervous as we went through the process. Roman had to be evaluated by neurology, had to have a series of blood work, and we had to complete an interview. The very next week Roman was listed and now the waiting begins!!

Christmas Miracle!!!

Roman had a rough start to December! He was still recovering from MRSA and his NEC episode. He was making progress slowly and his heart had taken a hit. One cardiologist told us that she thought he would need a transplant and even then she felt he wouldn't survive. Jaime and I spent the weekend in prayer. We braced ourselves for losing him! We even began planning his funeral. Only through the Grace of God, Roman bounced back.

Doctors started weening Roman off the vent and quickly he was switched to CPAP. Roman also began feeds again. Quickly he started looking better and better. His echo's were also looking better.

We knew we weren't out of the woods yet, but we actually started breathing a little easier.

Christmas was hard! It was so hard to be happy when Roman was not home with us. Luckily thanks to family and friends they made the holiday season a little more bearable.

Little Roman showed us over and over how strong he is! He was our Christmas miracle!!

The story of the Rainbow

Roman's Rainbow

The day that Roman was sent to Children's my sister was watching Presley and Addisen. When driving to church that day the girls saw this rainbow in the sky. Presley quickly said, "Mimi, that rainbow is for Roman. It's Roman's Rainbow." I am so thankful that Mimi took a picture of the rainbow that day.

To me that rainbow was a sign that Roman was going to be ok. God promised Noah that he would send him a sign that the storm was over. To me I will always think of a rainbow as our hope that the storm will soon be over!

 Roman appeared to be recovering well and we were told we would most likely be home by Thanksgiving, however Roman got an infection in his intestines. He began taking antibiotics. However this infection was a too hard for Roman to fight. He was rushed back to the ICU. Once again his body began shutting down, he was in shock. His heart also took a big hit. We were also told Roman had a form of MRSA and had suffered from 2 strokes. Doctors didn't give us much hope and said the next couple days were crucial.

Roman had other plans! Roman started to wake up on his own and he fought back. Roman however, was a nice shade of yellow due to jaundice because of the hit his liver took and not being on feeds. Doctors were happy with his progress. Slow and steady wins the race as they would tell us everyday.

We were hoping at this point to have him home by the end of December, but Roman had another plan!!

Pre-Surgery

After the doctors explained Roman's condition we were finally able to see Roman. He was hooked up to at least 7 different pumps adminstering life saving medications. He was completly sedated and on the vent. His belly, face, and hands were still blue. His body had went into shock as his ductus, which in heart healthy baby closes days after birth, closed. Roman need this to remain open. He was put on prostaglandins to keep the ductus open until his body was recovered enough for surgery.

Those days feel like such a blurr to me. People were in and out of Roman's room daily. We had daily meeings with a team of cardiologist, surgeons, pyhscology, social workers, and nurses. All I wanted to do was hold my baby boy.  I will never forget the day that the nurse asked, "Do you want to hold him." It was an answer to my prayers. Finally after a week I would finally get to hold my son!

First Attempt

On Ocotber 28th, 2011 we were thrilled to welcome our third child Roman. That day was filled with so much anticipation, excitement and nervousness. As we drove to the hospital Jaime and I began talking about how excited we were to welcome Roman into our lives and that we could not wait for the girls to meet Roman.

We arrived at the hospital at 5:00am. Everything went as planned. We were a little delayed becasue am emergency c-section pushed us back. Jaime of course kept me calm as I laid there waiting to see my little man. When I heard that strong cry a sense of relief came over me. He looked wonderful. He weighed in at a healthy 9lbs, 1oz. I was so excited when they laid him in my arms. Our family was complete.

Little did we now the challenges that would face us. Roman was having some trouble keeping his stats above 90, but when we would do kangaroo care they would rise. Early Sunday morning Roman was not interested in feeds. Without causing me much alarm the nurse said that she was going to take Roman to the nursery so i could get rest. An hour later she came in to tell me the doctor ordered a chest xray but he was doing fine. Soon after that I walked out of the room to find my baby. The nurse quickly took me back to my room. I knew something was wrong. Soon the NICU doctor came in and sat down and said," We need to talk about your boy, he is very sick. He needs to be transferred to Children's now."

A few minutes later they came to tell us we could go see Roman before they transported him. I will never forget the pain each step took walking down to the NICU, but I didn't care I needed to see Roman.
When we reached the NICU, Roman looked bad. He had been placed on a vent, he had IV's everywhere and his body was blue. They quickly got me a chair and I sat by Roman. He squeezed my finger as if he was telling me, "Mommy I love you, I will be ok." He was then quickly rushed away."

I quickly returned to my empty room trying to process all that had happened but my mind was so focused on getting out of the hospital. Soon my doctor arrived not knowing what had just happened. Thankfully she released me to go to the hospital to see Roman.

As soon as we got to Children's we were sent into a conference room. Two doctors walked in with pictures of a heart. My heart sank as I knew saw that it was heart related. October 30th, 2011 is when we found out our son had a congenital heart defect called HLHS. His left side of his heart was underdeveloped. He would need a series of heart surgeries to survive.